grOwing uP?

12:17 PM


Eversince i posted the vIdeo, i gOt nO idEa whAt to Update next.. yEah, with those miserable thingzZ, which should i think?

i wonder, if i REALLY am growing up.. i got this BAD time since i was in fOrm 4.. then, i stepped into fOrm 5, it's a relief.. just focus on my study..

" am I running frOm mY problem? "
" what is actually my prOblem ? "

and nOw, it comes bAck, haunted me.. dropping my tears.. am i changing? people around me kept dissatisfied with me.. they just can't really accept me... should i find my old self? what is my old self? i did read once,
" Life isn't finding urself, it's, creating urself.. "

can i just lead my life this way? just accept me the way i am.. bUt, am i really Okey to be accepted? is this what an 18-year-old teen faced? but it is since i'm 16.. i just don't understand people around me n me.. huu~

oh, abOut the drawing, i don't know which character to choose.. er, should i choose one? haah~, so many things puzzled in me.. Alhamdulillah, still got the best family with me.. but, i can't only depend on them..

" whAT shOuld i dO? "

sometimes, i'd like to say that, can u guys think about the future.. think more foward? my friend did tell me that i'm "bOOK".. well, i'm not really a BOOK.. i do know life.. i do step outside, knowing the world.. but, yeah, maybe i don't know as much as u know about life.. but i did faced real life.. i know how is HURT, being FOOLED, real happiness n vice versa.. i do know.. it's just, i don't want to take it too much. i'm worried about my future.. what will we be if we just think about now.. " haah, see! i want to speak bout this, but then it's gone, n i don't know what to say.." that is one of the reason i being silent..

i prefer being alone now.. before yea, i love to talk much.. but i've lost that sense.. i really am sorry.. maybe u guys kept blaming me for being too bUsy even after I finished my SPM n schooling..
" for me, fAmily is my priority.. i will not let anyone do bad things to my family!~ "

" i do envy, seeIng my school friends not like me.. just happy .. living simple.. "
" Alhamdulillah, i knOw, Allah give me this to make me learn something.. becAuse, everything He created has its own meaning. iT's just, we have to think.. ( huhu, like my instructor said last 2 night.. :P ) "
Owh, mLm nie ada tKd.. hee~


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